Tuesday, November 25, 2003
hey...
today was a very slack raya.
i shall not begin to list down why i'm not in the mood for raya. its too painful. and urgH!
but i will however list the highlights of the day.
1. bapa came late to fetch us
2. my sis hair actually looked nice
3. the bus driver of 912 though slow was very entertaining...haha...cos he was so slow. i could run faster than he drove tt bus!!! i SWEAR!!!
4. i met widya after so long of not seeing her on raya
5. had a nice chat with widya
6. i didnt eat at nani's house
7. i ate nice stuff at cik nah's house
8. i watched sound of music and fell asleep
9. i watched generasi tahun 2000 and feel in love with it
10. mami midah can fit into my kebaya
11. mami midah is lending me her kurung
12. i am home at 855pm
hahah!!! the saddest part about today is tt becos of my inner feelings i could not see my cousins day n dha on hari raya. :( oh well.. its ok...
SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE!!!!!
--insignificant lies--
8:48 pm
Saturday, November 15, 2003
hello..
i am still unsure of everything.
towards the end i think again of the pain inside.
if i am dying why do i still cry at night?
why is the sorrow of not knowing eminent?
why do i ask so many questions?
thinking too much can be so painful.
when the brain cracks
and your head spins
eternity seems ungrateful
and everything drops from its shelf
and the salt spills on the floor
the contents of your heart
when your lies come upon you
and settles like dust on old books
the security you search
is a need to be dependent
towards the end you wish there was no end
but you know the end is an entity to the beginning.
--insignificant lies--
10:55 am
Thursday, November 13, 2003
screw u.
--insignificant lies--
10:52 am
ok..i've been dormant long enough. oh well.. sucks.
--insignificant lies--
10:50 am
Monday, November 03, 2003
i know
dont think i dont
i saw it by chance
i know of your plans
you might not know
but i do
you think you've read everything
of all my thoughts and all my sins
but you dont know all about me
and how mean i can be
i know things about you
i will find out more
one way or another
i know.
so don't hide behind that screen
like a voyeur
it's all about the truth
about being real
if you want to know
come to me
but yet you halt
n read from behind that screen
like a voyeur
all your lies and all your deceit
i know
i will discover
for my benefit
i saw what you did
so stop before you lose
before
i know.
stay away from here
i mean it.
i will know.
everything about you.
i know.
--insignificant lies--
3:38 pm
yay!
they are back to the old layout for blogger...best!
thank god!
im sitting here in the comp lab. skipped maths lect. practically skipped the whole day la. oh well.. its ok.
i feel such longing now.
maybe i have been pushing myself forward to feel this way. you KnoW? like i just want to be in love.. that i think that i feel this way for her. i know she is really cute and all. and i find her so adorable but is it more than just that? is wat i think i feel real? why am i even doubting myself? i think i'm using my head. i must sit down n listen to my heart. my head says its too fast. but then i know for a fact that the heart can never be explained. so what does my heart feel???
wat????
i think i need to find out myself b4 i can feel anything. i dont want to break her heart and neither do i want her to break mine.
and if she is willing to wait for me i am willing to wait for her. and i am willing to fight the world for her if she would just love me too. i would fight everyone. and anyone. just for her. for us to be together. anything.
that is how much i know i can love her. if only she will let me.
--insignificant lies--
1:31 pm
Sunday, November 02, 2003
hey...
i hate this new layout tt they have on blogger. its so urgh! prefer the old one. oh well.. its ok..
i got a new journal. its called nia. n its really pretty. i like it so much. so so much... yup! hehehehe...
i think im really done for. im really into her. oh man!
can't stop thinking abt her. pls let this be real for once. pls let this feeling i have be reciprocated. but i think again...
i have no confidence in myself tt someone can love me too.
am i just another life spent?
--insignificant lies--
11:14 am
